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Monday, March 23, 2009

Rest in Peace, Sweet Maria

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Oh Dear Readers, you have no idea how much I hate writing posts like this. Yet, I find myself doing it way too often. My heart is heavy today and it probably will be for a long time. And I hope that, if you'll allow me the indulgence of getting it off my chest, I might be able to make some sense of it.

You see, I lost a dear friend on Saturday. Another bright and vibrant young life devoured by cancer. Many of you may remember last May, when I year told you about our legal assistant and good friend, Maria's cancer diagnosis. Doctors found that she had a precariously positioned tumor in her neck, wrapped around her jugular vein. Conventional surgery wasn't an option.

The next ten months were a harrowing and painful journey for her. There was chemo and radiation, and more chemo and more radiation. There were two CyberKnife procedures, a highly sophisticated robotic radiosurgery system used to attempt to reduce or eliminate certain lesions and tumors in the body that are otherwise considered inoperable. The tumor had crushed Maria's vocal cords, so there was reconstructive surgery and speech therapy as well.

The second CyberKnife procedure was considered to be very successful. Finally, there was a small sliver of light at the end of a dark and miserable tunnel. Things were starting to look up for Maria. Then, the unthinkable happened.

Two weeks ago, Maria began having a lot more pain than usual. She was also having trouble with her vision. After undergoing some tests, her doctors told her that there was now a large tumor on her brain. They also said that they thought they could get it all. She was immediately scheduled for more surgery. But, by the time they got in there, that f*%#ing devil cancer had already taken over. There was nothing more they could do, except send her home to wait.

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Maria died early Saturday morning. She was only forty-one years old. She was gentle and kind and warm and smart and funny. She was incredibly beautiful, inside and out. She was an angel among us.

Rest in peace, sweet Maria. Thank God, your suffering is finally over. We love you and will miss you more than you'll ever know.

Rest-in-Peace

64 comments:

Maria said...

Sorry for your loss. Great tribute to your friend. Cancer is so terrible. My thoughts go out to you and Maria's family and loved ones.

Colleen said...

Im so very sorry Susan.....aaaarrrggghhh CANCER!!!! Loving thoughts and prayers are with you and Maria's family. Hugs xxx

Laurie said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss! Such a beautiful post for your friend.

City Girl said...

I am so very, very sorry for your loss.

Nina Timm said...

I can see in your writing that your heart is very sore! I will remember you in my prayers!

girlichef said...

I'm so sorry for your loss :( Cherish the good times...

Jane Flanagan said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss!

pinkstripes said...

My thoughts are with you. :(

Peter M said...

Susan, sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. I will never understand why young people are taken from us so soon.

Snooky doodle said...

I m sorry! I ll pray for her.

Bellini Valli said...

A very touching post Susan for someone who obviously left her touch on your life.

The Food Hunter said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my thoughts

The Duchess of Wessex said...

Gracious! I cannot imagine but for you pain and loss I send you my sincerest condolences.

May the sun shine again for you soon. You bring so much sunshine to so many...

Best,

Janet

Farmer Jen said...

I am so sorry to hear of your friend's death. I can tell that she was loved dearly and will be greatly missed. Yes, I agree, these things are happening way too often lately.

Donna said...

Susan, she is younger than I am. I am sorry for your loss. I am working on a project that I hope will help cancer patients. Please check out my blog, http://stitchingforacure.blogspot.com
I would like to make an ornament in Maria's name if that is ok with you.

Tanya said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Susan. It's so sad when someone is taken far too early. My thoughts are with you.

Rosa's Yummy Yums said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss! That's so unfair...

In thoughs with you,

Rosa xoxo

Karen @ Mignardise said...

A lovely post for a beautiful young woman. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Too many (young) people I know are struggling with cancer too.

Lisa@The Cutting Edge of Ordinary said...

Susan my deepest sympathy. Sometimes it's hard to wrap your head around the the awful things that can happen in life. I hope you find peace.

Gera @ SweetsFoods said...

So sorry about this terrible news...:((

Peace for her....

Amy said...

What a wonderful tribute to your angel friend...My heart goes out to her family. I am thankful she is no longer in pain,but that doesn't lessen the hole left in your heart.I have a 38 year old friend with 2 small children who is battling breast cancer, she is such an encouragement to us. May God's peace comfort you...

Jen Yu said...

Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. These things never make any sense. Sending you a hug. xxoo

Haley said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and Maria's family.

5 Star Foodie said...

I'm so sorry about Maria. It's just very sad.

MaryBeth said...

I am so sorry to hear that Maria has left us, it is hard to see anyone go but really hard for someone who is so young. I am the same age and could not imagine being sick and leaving this earth at such a young age. My love and wishes are with you.

Andrew's Mom said...

Maria and her family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers.

Proud Italian Cook said...

Oh Susan, I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend! I hate cancer,I know how you feel, I lost my 27yr old neice to it. So young. Too young.

Meg said...

I know this is a very hard time for you! My prayers go forth to you and her family and friends. HUGS.

Ronda said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your good friend, Maria. It is such a horrible thing, that cancer. I have a few co-workers and friends with it right now, and sometimes, I just don't understand.

Cathy said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. What a tragedy. My heart goes out to all who loved her.

Kris said...

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, reading your post was heart breaking. I know how painful it is to lose someone close to you, especially when it is so far ahead of their time. I still hope for a day when they can eliminate cancer for good. My thoughts are with you and this young woman's family.

Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry.

Fara said...

i am so sorry for the loss....

Sophie said...

I am sorry for your loss,....What a beatiful tribute!

Cristine said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

The Short (dis)Order Cook said...

*Big hugs* I'm sorry you have had to experience such a tragic loss. Wishing you peace and good eating in this time.

Jennifer said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. She was SO young and so beautiful. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this, Susan. Prayers and hugs to you.

StickyGooeyCreamyChewy said...

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all of the hugs, prayers and good wishes. It means so much to me and to all of us who loved Maria. I am very lucky to have so many friends and readers as wonderful and caring as you.

Ingrid said...

I'm sorry for your loss as well as that of her family. Your tribute to Maria was so moving.
~ingrid

Laura P. said...

so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you and her family

The Italian Dish said...

Life is precious and sometimes much too short. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ciao Chow Linda said...

So sorry to hear about your friend's death. What a tragedy. A big hug to you and all her friends and family.

Simple Simon said...

So terribly sorry for your loss. Your love for your friend is clearly evident.

onlinepastrychef said...

Oh, Susan! There are no words.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've lost two very dear people to cancer, my brother at 31 and my husband's and my best friend at 37.

I understand the anger and helplessness. I will be keeping you and Maria's family in my thoughts.

Take care.

Erin said...

I'm so so sorry to hear about this, and sending warm, loving, supportive thoughts to you and yours.

Tiffany said...

I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing a bit of her life and her struggle with us.

J.Danger said...

Oh Susan. You have had quite the luck lately. I am so sorry that you have suffered yet another loss. I hate cancer, I hate cancer with a passion and I cannot wait for the day that it has lost its death grip on humanity.

Kalyn said...

What a tragedy to have such a lovely person die at such a young age. My thoughts are with you.

Manggy said...

My deepest condolences, Susan... I can indeed see she was an incredible beauty. May she rest in peace.

noble pig said...

OMG that is so awful. It seems so unfair and she is so, so young. I am so sorry she had to suffer, it's terrible. I know you are hurting and may she rest in peace.

Katrina said...

So sorry to hear this! She does look and sound like a beautiful person. TAke care.

Jude said...

So sorry to hear about your loss.

sunita said...

Losing a dear one is always very hard...my sincere condolences to you and Maria's family.

Take care, dear Susan...

Lisa said...

I'm sorry if this sounds brash, but cancer can go F@#K itself! My sister was diagnosed with Hodgkins a few years ago at a very young age, and although she seems to have beat it, and I'm grateful as hell, I'm so sick of cancer taking the lives of such vibrant, young people or people of any age! The death rate of cancer for people under 50 has multiplied like crazy the past 15-20 years, and many of the victims never smoked and lived healthy lifestyles! I keep donating money so they can find a damn cure, and although improved in certain cancers, they don't seem to be making as much leeway as one would hope.

OK - RANT over. I'm SO incredibly sorry about the loss of your beautiful friend. My heart goes out to you, her family and anyone else that was close to her/knew her. Your tribute to her was wonderful, and no doubt she's read it from up above with a smile.

The Food Librarian said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you, your co-workers and her family.

Tangled Noodle said...

So sorry for you loss and my deepest condolences and prayers for Maria's family. This was a lovely tribute to her.

Miss Jean said...

Words cannot express my sorrow for the loss of your friend. Cancer has taken too many of our loved ones. My prayers and sympathy to her family.

heidileon said...

Hi Susan,

I'm so sorry for your loss. She looked so alive and beautiful in that picture, I'm sure that's the way she wanted you and all her friend remember her.

Lots of love and hugs to you and her family!

Tish said...

That is so sad :( My sincerest condolences to you and all involved.

Kristen said...

This breaks my heart, on so many very different levels. Thinking of you!

Nicole said...

My condolences.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

So sad to read this -- what a beautiful woman, and so young. I did a post a few days ago about "CURE Magazine" which is a FREE quaterly publication aimed at people who are, or have battled cancer, and their families. I am a thyroid cancer survivor so it's a topic that is always in my mind.

I hope one day there will be a cure!

My condolences.

Nicisme said...

I'm so sorry to read this Susan. Very sad. Take care.

Y said...

Very sorry to hear about your dear friend.